Why Do I Write

I'll confess: I never thought I'd be a writer. Growing up I was very practical, exploring careers in science, computers, and mathematics before ultimately settling on business, finance specifically. I worked full time for several years before establishing a financial consulting business. With a family, flexible hours were a great benefit.

Like many writers, I've always been an avid reader. In fiction, I enjoy almost all genres. For non-fiction, I like books about science and history.

Many years ago, I read a novel that made me burn with frustration. It had a rambling plot, an unattractive love interest, and a weak main character. Scanning the back blurb, I discovered the author had already published six other novels. I thought, like many wanna-be writers, "I can write better than this!"

Over a period of several months, I wrote three novels and many short stories. I wrote character sketches, rambling streams of consciousness, point of view jumps. I experimented with magical realism and literary fiction. I completed two manuscripts exploring themes which, at the time, I thought were profound and deeply interesting.

I was wrong. They were terrible.

The truth is writing a novel is hard work. Writing a good novel is even more difficult.

On a walk during this time, a character jumped into my head. I knew her voice, her past, her personality. If she sat down at a job interview and was asked her strengths, she'd tell you about the night she drank three Russian trolls under the table and was still able to dance the Charleston with a Greek Minotaur come sunrise. When asked about her beliefs, she'd point out that a dab of lipstick and a good mascara could bring world peace. She was a zany, powerful voice that would not stop talking to me. So I wrote another book, lighthearted and fun. I edited the novel, reread it, and realized it wasn't publishable in its current form. Into the Drawer of Despair it went.

Never heard of the Drawer of Despair? Every writer has one even if it goes by a different name: trunk, file, drive, shelf, drawer. Back in the day it was an actual physical location. Now, not so much. The electronic age has just made manuscripts into one and zeros on a hard drive. But I still feel a bit of shame and embarrassment when I see the folder, XXXDead. In my world, that's where bad novels go to die.

Seven years passed.

Life, like always, got in the way. I pursued a major life goal. I moved several times. My family grew. I took on work projects. I homeschooled my children. I was busy, but that's no excuse for abandoning writing all together. I should have continued writing.

Shoulda, woulda, coulda. No sense in regretting the past.

Once life settled down, I decided to pick up writing again. I had a great idea for a novel, a definite winner. I joined the 2015 NaNoWriMo project and wrote furiously day after day. My hands ached from typing so fast. By the end of the month, I had 80,000 words, a completed novel. Time to publish!

 Nope. With a reread I knew it was awful as well, worse than the books I'd written years before.

I didn't let that stop me. I set that book aside and wrote another book. It wasn't publishable, but it was better than the prior novel. On to the next book!

I opened up the crazy character manuscript and realized it wasn't as bad as I'd first thought. I was able to tighten up the narrative and craft more compelling main characters. It took time, distance, and knowledge to recognize the problems, but fixing awkward writing was much easier than fixing no writing at all.

Since I had my old notes for the second novel, I brainstormed an outline and wrote the second novel in six weeks. Once it was done, I knew it was time to work on publishing my stories.

So that's my story. And here I am, hoping to find readers interested in my books. My plan is to release sample chapters online with the first complete novel available January 2017. I'd love your feedback on my writing so send me an email or leave a comment. I'd love to hear from you.

If you find any copy edit suggestions, shoot me an email so I can correct them. I'd prefer you whisper in my ear that I have toilet paper on the back of my skirt than shout it across the room.

Thanks for reading!